Splitting the US of A

Found this article from the Wall Street Journal via BLDGBLOG about a Russian professor’s prediction of the collapse of the United States. I’m not going to even try to refute this, because lets face it, as much as I love this country, anything IS possible. There was a point in time in which none of us would have thought the Soviet Union would collapse, but it did.

But I do think the professors map is a bit flawed.

First off, West Virginia, Virginia, North & South Carolina, I can’t see them joining up with the EU. I can guaren-damn-tee you that Kentucky and Tennessee won’t.

Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia, under Mexican control? I think not.

Texas might get absorbed into Mexico, but the new capital will be in Texas, and a whole bunch of things are gonna change south of Rio Grande. Don’t mess with Texas. Wouldn’t surprise me one bit to see the New Republic of Texas extend all the way down to the Panama Canal.

Actually, I think I do advocate a split of the US. It might be good for us, but not to the extreme the good professor has it.

I think we should split off DC, New Jersey, New York, and maybe Massachusetts. Let’s also give them Philadelphia to help clean up Pennsylvania a bit. Give them back to the British or let them go to the EU if they want us to be so much like them….. California, gone…. Let them fend for themselves.

And we should do something about Chicago. What to do about Chicago? Yes, another fence, but let’s turn it into a prison. We’ve already got a head start with all the politicians in that state.

I realize I just gave away the Capital of the United States. I propose moving it into the center of the country. Perhaps along the Kansas/Nebraska, or Kansas/Missouri border, right in the middle. Some place so remote, difficult to reach, and boring that no whoring politician in their right mind would want to go there.

We also add an amendment to the Constitution requiring all politicians to drive themselves to the Capital city in a car representative of what their average constituent would drive. No flying allowed. That way, they have to travel through fly over country. It would be a form of “running the gauntlet.” Depending on how well a politician is doing for the country, it could be a pleasant trip, or a horrible trip.

Politicians would also be forbidden to take up residency in the capital city, but instead supplied with dorm rooms and cafeteria meals during their stay. The legislature would meet one week out of every month, with 3 days travel time on either side of the legislative session for that month. The rest of the month would be spent in the districts they represent. And 2 weeks vacation each year, but never to be taken during a session.

I might be on to something here. I’ll file this away for when we actually have to redo the Constitution after the big split in 2010……

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